Katie Price is the third most famous woman in Britain after Kate Middleton and Princess Diana who is, obviously, dead. A former glamour model turned reality TV star - imagine a cross between Snookie and Kim Kardashian, but incalculably less charming - Price has gained her fame by being willing to sell any and every aspect of her life to glossy magazines for a fat fee. Of course, in order to become the multimillionairess she is you have to have a lot of life to sell - and so Price’s time on Earth has been spent ricocheting between various startled-looking husbands, lovers, and celebrity friends, while her alarmed-looking children trail behind her, blinking in the blinding burst of paparazzi flashbulbs.
To give a measure of the woman, one of her most notable life events was a £30,000 hairdo that went wrong. I’m sure Americans spend £30,000 on their hair all the time - but here in Britain that would buy you the hair of EVERY LIVING PERSON IN THE COUNTRY, plus dibs on the pelts of most of our animals.
Please do not judge our country harshly on the basis of Price: we also invented a) the Beatles b) most cheese and c) the suspension bridge. Underneath it all, we are good people.
For God’s sake, Caitlin, leave some hilarious stories for the rest of us to tell!