“Who knows how long the after-effects of Sex and the City’s decade-long Blahnik-wank will continue to rumble through society… If I’m going to spunk £500 on a pair of designer shoes, it’s going to be a pair that I can a) dance to ‘Bad Romance’ in, and b) will allow me to run away from a murderer… That’s the minimum I ask from my footwear. To be able to dance in it, and for it not to get me murdered.”—Caitlin Moran - ‘How to be a Woman’ (via amanda-hugankiss)
“Even shouting ‘HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU’ whilst sounding a klaxon doesn’t work. She’s in the Girl Matrix - trying to catch invisible, slo-mo bullets those of us outside the Matrix can’t see.”—Caitlin Moran, How to be a Woman (via zchae)
…we enter an exhausting paradox: a belief that, in love, everything is not as it seems. The conviction that there is a common state of affairs whereby a man can be madly in love with you, and wish to spend the rest of his life with you, but will indicate this in a variety of ways so subtle, only the truly talented and determined will discern his true desires.
Like it’s The Da Vinci Code, and that when a man takes you out to dinner, gets off with you, then doesn’t call for two weeks, there’s a secret challenge he’s setting you, which - with enough algebra, consultation of ancient scrolls, and wailing on the phone to your female friends - you can decode, and, eventually, get married, i.e. win.
“Shops are places where your money makes the wealthy wealthier. Libraries are places where the wealthy’s taxes pay for you to become a little more extraordinary.”—Caitlin Moran (via brokenheartedprince)
“But nearly every woman I know has a roughly similar story - in fact, dozens of them: stories about being obsessed with a celebrity, work colleague or someone they vaguely knew for years; living in a parallel world in their head; conjuring up endless plots and scenarios for this thing that never actually happened.”— Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman (via snackcart)
“No human being has any previous experience of adoring, to the point of pain, a superlatively reasoning meta-detective with opalescent eyes and his hot ex-Army Mod sidekick - only to have them disappear just three intense weeks later.”—Caitlin Moran, on Sherlock (via The Times)
“A library in the middle of a community is a cross between an emergency exit, a life-raft and a festival. They are cathedrals of the mind; hospitals of the soul; theme parks of the imagination.On a cold, rainy island, they are the only sheltered public spaces where you are not a consumer, but a citizen instead.”—
Caitlin Moran, The Times newspaper, 8th December 2011.
Seen in the CILIP (Chartered Institute of Library and Information Professionals) magazine, CILIP Update, Jan 2012 edition.
“I can’t believe we’ve got to a point where it’s basically costing us money to have a fanny. They’re making us pay for maintenance and upkeep of our lulus, like they’re a communal garden. It’s a stealth tax. Fanny VAT.”—Caitlin Moran, How To Be a Woman (via whatkayleighdid-next)